Fart: A Documentary Movie Script

I laugh in situations where people fart.

I mean, because as I say, it always has the potential to be funny.

There are a variety of reasons why that's the case, I think.

Hi, I'm Mr. Safety, and today I'm gonna teach you how to hide your farts in public.

We've got a tennis player called John Newcombe.

Uh, and it's, um, it's his birthday today, so why don't we say, uh, you celebrate his great set of fart happy birthday I said, and then I've got some candles, we'll put them on the cake, and we'll blow them out.

And, uh, that was very nice and-- ( audience laughing ) You are still going, I can hear.

I'm ready, yes.

We're going to celebrate-- this is for the people at home, who may-- and people in the audience, who may have a birthday.

( host speaking native language ) We're going to blow the birthday cake-- - the candles out... - Okay.

- ...one at a time.

- ( audience laughing ) Ah, just nice and low-- nice and... ( speaking native language ) Just-- just down there a little... - A little down there?

- There we go.

Okay, one... two... three... - Is this the last one?

- Yes.

- Make a wish.

- Okay.

( cheers, applause ) And apparently afterwards, the switchboard at Channel 9 it was in meltdown.

I mean, it's a surprising sound anyway.

- But it's surprising when it comes out of... - ( fart sound ) ...somewhere you not expecting it to come out of.

Everybody does it, yet most people are ashamed to fart.

( fart noise ) Most people don't even like to talk about it.

They think it's pretty gross.

( farting sound ) Here at JokeStrap, we think farting's pretty hilarious.

( mouthing words ) Hilarious.