Fart: A Documentary Movie Script

People, remember this man - because this man - ( speaking native language ) will be able to tell you that Mr. Methane does trump from his bottom.

Because now, this gentleman is going to place his left earlobe on my anus.

( laughter ) And we're going to fart in his ear.

Farting was still fairly, uh... It was still fairly taboo in the United States and, uh, they had all these morning zoo programs and they were looking for any excuse they could find just to say the word "fart" or to play fart effects on, you know-- you know, on the air.

So, after the book came out in February of '99-- for like the next six months I was up pretty much every morning around 4:00 doing all these morning zoo shows.

Oh man, it was just-- I was laughing so hard I was crying, but I was totally embarrassed.

It was awful.

Welcome, sir.

Welcome.

- Tommy.

- Tommy.

Welcome, Tommy.

Welcome.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Come and put your left ear over my anus.

Nice and close.

The left not the right.

It's-- not the right, - the left.

- The left.

- The left.

- Oh, okay, okay.

This is nothing gay here.

This is like men bonding like Vikings, okay?

- Make him close.