Lonesome Dove 孤鸽镇

Clara looked at the baby and offered it her finger. “We don’t much care what your pa thinks of us, do we, Martin?” she said. “We already know what we think of him.”LORENA WAS SITTING in her tent when Gus returned. She had been sitting there hoping he wasn’t dead. It was an unreasoning fear she had, that Gus might die. He had only been gone three days, but it seemed longer to her. The cowboys didn’t bother her, but she was uneasy anyway. Dish Boggett set up her tent at night and stayed close by, but it meant nothing to her. Gus was the only man she wanted to look after her.

Then, before it was quite dark, she heard horses and looked out to see Gus riding toward her. She was so glad she wanted to run out to him, but Dish Boggett was nearby, trimming his horse’s feet, so she kept still.

“She’s just fine, Gus,” Dish said, when Gus dismounted. “I looked after her as best I could.” “I’m much obliged,” Augustus said.

“She won’t hardly even look at me,” Dish said. He said it mildly, but he didn’t feel it mildly. Lorena’s indifference pained him more than anything he had ever experienced.

“Did you catch the horsethieves?” he asked.

“We did, but not before they murdered Wilbarger and four other people,” Augustus said.

“Hang ’em?” “Yes, hung them all, including Jake Spoon.” “Well, I’ll swear,” Dish said, shocked. “I didn’t like the man but I never figured him for a killer.” “He wasn’t a killer,” Augustus said. “Jake liked a joke and didn’t like to work. I’ve got exactly the same failings. It’s lucky I ain’t been hung.” He pulled the saddle off his tired horse. The horse lay down and had a good roll, scratching its sweaty back.

“Howdy do, miss,” Augustus said, opening the tent. “Give me a hug.” Lorena did. It made her blush that he just asked, like that.

“If hugs are to be had for the asking, what about kisses?” Augustus asked.

Lorena turned her face up—the feel of his whiskers made her want to cry, and she held him as tight as she could.

“I wish we’d brought a bathtub on this trip,” Augustus said, grinning. “I’m so dirty it’s like kissing a groundhog.” Later, he went to the chuck wagon and brought back some supper. They ate outside the tent. In the distance the Irishman was singing. Gus told her about Jake, but Lorena felt little. Jake hadn’t come to find her. For days she had hoped he would, but when he didn’t, and her hope died, the memory of Jake died with it. When she listened to Gus talk about him it was as if he were talking about a man she hadn’t known. She had a stronger memory of Xavier Wanz. Sometimes she dreamed of Xavier, standing with his dishrag in the Dry Bean. She remembered how he had cried the morning she left, how he’d offered to take her to Galveston.

But she didn’t remember Jake particularly. He had faded into all the other men who had come and gone. He had got a thorn in his hand, she remembered that, but she didn’t remember much else. She didn’t much care that he was dead—he wasn’t a good man, like Gus.

What scared her was all the death. Now that she had found Gus, it was very frightening to her to think that he might die.

She didn’t want to be without him. Yet that very night she dreamed that he had died and she couldn’t find the body.

When she came out of the dream and heard him breathing, she clung so tightly to him that he woke up. It was very hot and her clinging made them sweaty.

“What scared you?” Augustus asked.

“I dreamed you died,” Lorena said. “I’m sorry I woke you.” Augustus sat up. “Don’t fret,” he said. “I need to go water the grass, anyway.” He went out, made water, and stood in the moonlight awhile, cooling off. There was no breeze in the tent, so Lorena came out too.

“It’s a good thing this grass don’t depend on me,” Augustus said. “There’s a lot more of it than I can get watered.” They were on a plain of grass so huge that it was hard to imagine there was a world beyond it. The herd, and themselves, were like a dot, surrounded by endless grass. Lorena had come to like the space—it was a relief after her years of being crowded in a little saloon.

Gus was staring at the moon and scratching himself. “I keep thinking we’ll see the mountains,” he said. “I grew up in mountains, you know. Tennessee. I hear them Rockies are a lot higher than the Smokies. They say they have snow on top of them the year round, which you won’t find in Tennessee.” He sat down in the grass. “Let’s sit out,” he said. “We can nap in the morning. It will scandalize Call.”“Why does he go off at night?” Lorena asked.

“He goes off to be by himself,” Augustus said. “Woodrow ain’t a sociable man.” Lorena remembered her other worry, the woman in Nebraska. “When will we get there, Gus?” she asked. “Nebraska, I mean.” “I ain’t sure,” he said. “Nebraska’s north of the Republican River, which we ain’t come to yet. It might take us three weeks yet.” Lorena felt a dread she couldn’t get rid of. She might lose him to the woman. The strange trembling started—it was beyond her control. Gus put his arms around her to make it stop.

“Well, it’s natural to worry,” he said. “This is a chancy life. What’s the main thing that worries you?” “I’m feared you’ll die,” Lorena said.

Augustus chuckled. “Dern right, I’ll die,” he said. “What else worries you?” “I’m feared you’ll marry that woman,” she said.

“I doubt it,” Augustus said. “That woman had two or three chances to marry me already, and she didn’t take them. She’s an independent type, like you used to be.” That was so, Lorena reflected. She had been quite independent, but now all she could think of was keeping Gus. She wasn’t ashamed, though. He was worth keeping.

“It’s funny humans take to the daylight so,” he said. “Lots of animals would rather work at night.” Lorena wanted him to want her. She knew he did want her, but he had done nothing. She didn’t care about it, but if she could be sure that he still wanted her, then the dread of losing him might go away.

“Let’s go in,” she whispered, hoping he’d know what she meant. He immediately turned to her with a grin.