You beacon of composure and proportionate response.
You bringer of calm and goodness to the world.
What do you do when the war you're fighting just can't possibly be won in any meaningful sense?
Well, obviously, you sack the guy not winning it, and you bring in some other guy.
In 2009, that war was Afghanistan.
And that other guy... was Glen.
You boys ready?
Let's go win this thing.
Okay.
So this is what I learned about four-star General Glen McMahon.
He was born to a military family at Fort Leavenworth.
Graduated West Point in 1976.
Ranger school in '79.
He had a graduate degree in political affairs and military history from Yale.
He was both a straight-A student and a troublemaker.
He once famously attempted to stick a lit cherry bomb up his sleeping drill sergeant's ass.
He was loved by the men and women who served under him.
Three, two, one, let's go.
Never afraid to get his hands dirty.
Yeah, it's flash time.
Never willing to send his troops anywhere he wouldn't go himself.
He was known variously as the Lion King, the G-Man, Big Glen and, most commonly, the Glenimal.
He was like a throwback to another era.
His hand was bent into a permanent claw, like it was still clutching a World War II cigar his modern, fitness-fanatic self wouldn't allow him to smoke.
