躲避球：一个真正的卧底故事Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story Movie Script

Tired of the same old you?

Tired of being out of shape and out of luck with the opposite sex?

Tired of being overweight and under-attractive?

Yeah.

Oh, hello.

I'm White Goodman, owner, operator and founder of Globo Gym America Corp.

I'm here to tell ya that you don't have to be stuck with what you've got.

Hey, Rory. Looking good.

At Globo Gym we that understand "ugliness" and "fatness" are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.

That's where we come in.

Globo Gym employs a highly trained, quasi-cultural staff of personal alteration specialists.

With our competitively priced onsite cosmetic surgery, we can turn that Frankenstein you see in the mirror every morning into a Franken-fine.

Of course, you'll still be you in a legal sense, but think of it as a thinner, more attractive, better you than you could ever become without us.

How do I know?

Well, I'm not only the founder of Globo Gym, I'm also a client.

That's me, six years and 600lbs ago, before I knew how much I hated myself.

That all changed once I founded Globo Gym.

But don'tjust take my word for it. Listen to these Globo gymers tell you how it is... That feels good.

Oh, the tickle machine.

Crash, no. Crash, out.

Bad dog. No grundle.

Come on down and join the winning team, because here at Globo Gym, we're better than you.

And we know it.

Spare me.

Mr La Fleur, this is Doris from the Department of Water and Power.