Fart: A Documentary Movie Script

So she did her part and then I went down to do my part and her butt was right by my head and she farts and you can, like, feel it on your face.

It was the most disgusting thing I've ever experienced - in my life.

- ( laughing ) I never had somebody actually fart on my head until that point.

Wow.

And I'm hoping that's the last time, but... That's not normal in workplaces, and it shouldn't be.

You're fast asleep when I feel one creep I try to keep it inside the bed But like a good wine That ages with time Looks rotten and it's starting to spread You wake up in fear That a fire is near From the smell of my own Dutch oven... ( farting noise ) Female interviewer: Have you in present or past relationships farted in front of your other half?

- Yup.

- Yes.

- ( laughing ) - Oh, my gosh, yes.

But farting is one of those things that is a sign of a good relationship, I think, isn't it?

Our first five years we dated, he didn't fart at all.

If you can fart in front of one another... We got married, he farted for a whole frickin' week.

Uh, there's a lovely "homey" quality to the relationship, and, uh, you know, it's a positive thing, isn't it?

Female interviewer: After five years you changed your mind and felt good to go.

- No.

- No, okay.

Started eating her food.

Seriously, no women aren't supposed to fart.

- Cameraman: Why not?

- Well, I don't know.

It's the way he was brought up.

Very... I don't know who told you that.

Oh, uh... It maybe bothers you if a woman... Because a woman is more delicate?

- And, uh... - Ladylike.

Ladylike?