Fart: A Documentary Movie Script

- Nice and close.

- Okay?

- ( speaking native language ) It does not have teeth.

It does not bite.

Even closer, closer.

Here we go.

( overlapping chatter ) Okay, five...

All:

Four, three, two, one.

( farts ) But that's the worst part, when you think you have to fart and you're really worried that it might not be a fart.

( laughs ) Ah... Doo-doo.

( speaking native language ) Sammy, Sammy, I want to thank you... That-- that-- that was real.

That was-- that was...?

That was definite real.

- I'm serious.

- Woman:

True.

You know, you walk away and that might leave a mark.

Oh, God.

Don't do that.

Uh, sorry about the mess there.

- Man:

Mr. Methane?

- You'll have to wash it off.

Doo-doo.

I just said "doo-doo" again.

We're just setting up the competition.

- ( laughs ) - I'm just saying.