Fart: A Documentary Movie Script

- And-- and my brother-- - What did you do?

I had four brothers and a sister and I would-- if they would say, Laura, did you fart today?

I would've said, "No." Because I was so completely embarrassed by it.

( gasps ) Really?

I think it's absolutely hilarious because usually women are so prim and proper.

And, you know, it's not prim and proper for a lady to cut one.

But, yeah, I think it's the most hilarious thing when you see them do it.

It's just that, you know, you got to be open to allow it.

And when women do it, it's-- it's hilarious.

Because, you know, it's-- oops.

Yeah, you don't always expect it.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

That's always the cover-up, "Oops.

Oh, I'm so sorry." And, you know, for guys it's like, "Hey, it happened." In the most basic sense it's funny, but it's not funny when you're taught by society that it is something you shouldn't do.

Especially women.

"You shouldn't do that." Men can do that in the gym or in the locker room or whatever, but women don't do that-- polite ladies don't do that at the dinner table.... - Other than your family.

- I know.

My Dad's the same way.

"Oh, it's not gonna smell." And then releases the most disgusting fart you've ever heard and then just keeps the window up.

It's like, "Come on, have some respect." Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

The sulfur from eggs.

We used to do the whole-- we'd eat my aunt's broccoli salad, deviled eggs, and my aunt's baked beans.

And then we would all go lock ourselves in... our "bunk house" and go to town.

Yeah, my boys, you know, have fart contests all the time.