Fart: A Documentary Movie Script

It's like, "Whoa," you know.

I'm always one that, if you're gonna do it, take the credit for it, you know?

It does not excuse him for holding the blankets over my head at night.

Yeah, holding the covers down.

We call that the "Dutch oven." My Mom doesn't really make any farts.

Cameraman #2: Is she the silent type?

Yep.

And then, um... And then she, um... Well, we always say her farts smell like roses.

'Cause they don't.

Man:

Is that what she tells you to say?

With no one else to frame I take the blame You can't believe it's been me the whole time Rotting gas Whoa ooh whoa oh oh, ho ooh oh oh oh Smells like ass Oh ooo oh oh oh - I think I farted - In the bed - I think I farted - In the bed - I think I farted - In the bed I think I farted No, it's social acceptance and it's a difficult one, because even I, as a performing flatulist, understand that.

( farting ) People say to me, "Hey, don't break wind in here." You know, and like, well, look, I'm a professional.

You know, I've got more control than you.

So that's rubbish, you know.

It's not dinner table subject except at our dinner table some times, but that's just because somebody just did it.

We had standards.

You weren't supposed to just go into church or something and fart loud and get a high five for it, but you know, it-- So you still had to have respect for your surroundings and especially big public places.

And, you know, my parents would get embarrassed, or my Mom moreso than my Dad.

My Dad would give you the high five, down low, but, you know, keep it hidden.

I can't-- I don't know if there is any one story people talk about having flatulence on airplanes, in job interviews and the social embarrassment that goes along with it associated with that.

Work or having sex would be the worst.

That is when it's not acceptable.

I disagree.

( all laughing ) - ( farts ) - ( men shouting )

Dawson:

It came out and I got more coverage on that and sold more of that than all my other books combined.