Fart: A Documentary Movie Script

...the Johnson-Smith Company.

He sold novelty items such as fake vomit, X-ray goggles, and a buzzing handshaker.

- ( fart ) - ( audience cheering ) I don't even know if people use 'em as whoopee cushions anymore.

I think they buy 'em just to have it, you know, just showing somebody a whoopee cushion has the effect.

He saw the inherent value in the whoopee cushion, and he began marketing it immediately.

At which point Samuel Adams then said, "Hey, that's a great idea." And made his own version of the whoopee cushion called the raspberry cushion, which is what the English people call farts.

You know, it's like Pavlov's dog at this point.

All you have to do is see the thing and then they laugh.

- You know?

- ( fart ) ( people grunting, laughing) Pee-ew!

( audience chanting ) Go! Go! Go!

( cheering ) Announcer: Three, two, one.

( airhorn blares ) Oh, hello and welcome to "Fart by Mail." You might be asking yourself, "What exactly is 'Fart by Mail'"?

In the back it said, "Farts just like Dad used to make." Oh, that should be good.

( fart ) It's a mail order fart service where we send farts to your friends for you.

( farting ) ( man laughing ) Your friends also get a stunning professionally printed high-gloss full colored greeting card.

( farting ) Your custom message, a heinous odor, and a hilarious fart sound.

I peeled something that said "peel off." It says, "Smell here." I think I would avoid that at all cost.

It smells like real poo.

Yeah, I guess that would be from our son.

( man laughing ) Um, I saw a fart extinguisher which had... It was an air freshener, but it was in a little extinguisher bottle.

It was very-- very clever.

Quite a practical joke.

It would've been a gift to give you father.

Um... You saw the Santa fart doll.