You men are shameful. If you're not thinking of your wiener then you're acting on its behalf.
WILL:
Then on behalf of my wiener, I'd like to ask for an advance.
CUT TO:
INT. L STREET BAR & GRILLE -- LATER Skylar and Will sit together along with Will's gang. The boys are considerably drunk, but it makes for good entertainment.
Everyone here is having fun including Sylar.
MORGAN:
Will, I can't believe you brought Skylar here when we're all wrecked.
What's she gonna think about us?
WILL:
Yeah, Morgan. It's a real rarity that we'd be out drinkin'.
BILLY:
I've been sh*t faced for like two weeks.
MORGAN:
Oh great, tell her that! Now she really thinks we're problem drinkers!
CHUCKIE:
Two weeks? That's nothin'. My Uncle Marty? Will knows him. That guy f***in' drinks like you've never seen! One night he was drivin' back to his house on I-93 -- Statie pulls him over.
ALL:
Oh sh*t.
CHUCKIE:
Guy's tryin' to walk the line -- but he can't even f***in' stand up, and so my uncle's gonna spend a night in jail. Just then there's this f***in' BOOM like fifty yards down the road.
Some guy's car hit a tree.
MORGAN:
Some other guy?
CHUCKIE:
Yeah, he was probably drunker than my Uncle, who f***in' knows? So the cop goes "Stay here" And he goes runnin' down the highway to deal with the other crash. So, my Uncle Marty's standin' on the side of the road for a little while, and he's so f***in' lit, that he forgets what he's waitin' for. So he goes, "F*** it." He gets in his car and drives home.
MORGAN:
Holy sh*t.
CHUCKIE:
So in the morning, there's a knock on the door it's the Statie. So my Uncle's like, "Is there a problem?"
And the Statie's like "I pulled you over and you took off." And my Uncle's like "I never seen you before in my life, I been home all night with my kids." And Statie's like "Let me get in your garage!" So he's like "All right, fine." He takes around the garage and opens the door -- and the Statie's cruiser is in my Uncle's garage.
ALL:
No way! You're kiddin'!
CHUCKIE:
No, he was so hammered that he drove the police cruiser home. F***in' lights and everything!
MORGAN:
Did your Uncle get arrested?
CHUCKIE:
The f***in' Trooper was so embarrassed he didn't do anything. The f***in' guy had been drivin' around in my Uncle's car all night lookin' for the house.
Everyone is laughing. Skylar speaks above the din.
SKYLAR:
There was this Irish guy, walking down the beach one day.
