Alanis poster) Can you do me a favor? Can you tell me about that poster over there?
DAVID:
Alanis? I don’t know, I guess I'm susceptible like everybody else. Why?
LIPSKY:
She’s pretty, alright...
DAVID:
Yeah, but in a very sloppy, very human way. That squeaky, orgasmic quality in her voice? Here’s what it is: A lot of women in magazines are pretty in a way that isn’t erotic because they don’t look like anybody you know.
LIPSKY:
True.
DAVID:
You can’t imagine them putting a quarter in a parking meter or eating a bologna sandwich. But her, I don’t know, I just find her absolutely riveting.
LIPSKY:
How’d you get to know her, her music, I mean?
DAVID:
Listening to cheesy Bloomington radio, and “I Want to Tell You” came on.
LIPSKY:
(correcting him) “You Oughta Know.”
DAVID:
What?
29.
LIPSKY:
“I Want to Tell You” is the book O.J.
Simpson wrote.
DAVID:
Oh, right.
LIPSKY:
Wouldn’t it be great if O.J. Simpson sang “You Oughta Know” and Alanis Morissette wrote a book about not killing two people?
They laugh. Lipsky is pleased to make David laugh.
DAVID:
If somehow this whole fuss could get me even like a five-minute cup of tea with her...
LIPSKY:
Why don’t you put out feelers, see if she’d be willing to meet you?
DAVID:
You serious? I would never do that.
LIPSKY:
Why not?
DAVID:
I’d be too terrified. Why, you would do that?
LIPSKY:
If I were you? Why not?
DAVID:
A date with Alanis Morissette? What would I say to her? “Hello, Miss Morissette. What is it like to be you?” (gruff voice) “I don’t know - shut up. And get the f*** away from me.”
